Posted by: Amber | July 6, 2007

Laser Focus

We were counseled before our home schooling journey to think big picture about who we wanted our children to become and what type of education did we want them to have.  I keep that vision in front of me daily.  It helps me NOT to “lose the forest for the trees” if you know what I mean. 

Do my interactions, my body language,  my tone of voice, my consistency with the very things that I am requiring of them etc….what is all of that saying to them?  How is it shaping them?  After correcting/disciplining our children, I strive to have an “eye”  moment.  Where we look each other in the eyes and I tell them how much I love them.  How much I want them to be people who are respectful of all people and the world around them.  That God gave me a job to do, and I need to be obedient to that job.  Our oldest gets that.  Our youngest does not…but he will. Our middle child is just starting to grasp it.

With our oldest our “correcting” episodes are less and less frequent.  After they happen and we talk about why I had to discipline him etc. I have this huge big picture view of where I am guiding him. With our younger ones, I know it is just a matter of time.  For that reason, I now enjoy the correction of our children.  It keeps me in touch with where we are going.  These are not arbitrary corrections so that I can “rule the roost” or have complete order in the home.  That is a possible byproduct but what it really is, is “training for reigning” as Dallas Willard puts it. 

What I have found through it, is a calming of our children when we are home together.  They understand the drill, they know I am not caving and that I don’t act emotionally (most times) it is just “steady as she goes” rhythm that keeps a well oiled machine moving.  I am not perfect, or have it all together.  Our children are not perfect ether.  We are still working on how to discipline when we are in group situations, but we are getting there.  I have found when the focus is not on them per se or me per se and the day to day grind, but the big picture goal, we move past the hardness, tedium, and constant repetition of daily correction into training.  And now I wonder, how can parents do that well, having their children away from home 7-10 hours a day especially when they are little?  There is no indictment in that statement if you have your children away from you, it is just an out loud wondering question that I am mulling over.

Anyway, Peace to all!

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Responses

  1. I am relating to what you are saying.

    My kids are still being trained with the why and the how, but are cheerful and obedient because of the correction they received as little people. Correction is a joy when our own ugly offended emotions are checked at the door, and rather our Christlike mommy-meekness reigns.

    I am so thankful that children can even be trained to control and change their inward attitudes as well as their outward behavior. This is something I sadly did not learn until I was an adult.

    Have a beautiful day!
    amanda

  2. good post. I like dallas willard too. I am striving for the same thing in discipline. I’m also having a hard time imagining being able to do that with my kids away most the day. I hate the idea of giving my kids over to the system that long…


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